So Week 2 was tougher only in that I got sick and relied FAR TOO MUCH on processed and pre-packaged foods. I don't even want to know the sheer volume of sodium I consumed. Week 1 I meal planned and made A LOT of recipes with fresh vegetables. I had MAYBE 1 tsp of salt A DAY!! I'm not a big salt person so I use the bare minimum, but when you buy pre-made meals they load it with salt. As such, I only lost 1.6 lbs this last week despite having put over 6 miles underneath my feet.
The bright side is that I am down almost 7 lbs that I hope to keep off until I get pregnant again, which shouldn't be for another year or so, hopefully.
The dark side is that I have a 5K coming up soon and I am not doing nearly enough training for it. I am not a morning person, but have no real time to go at night. Here is the dirty little secret, if the wind is blowing, as it often does in the AV, I have no problem strapping on my shoes and hitting the pavement. Cold, really hot, raining . . . doesn't matter. I could be the postal service of running BEFORE I had Fin. Now, unless Chris is home, I have to think about her too and if it is too windy, cold, hot, or raining, she cannot be out there SOOOOOOO I have to get my lazy, non-morning person butt out of bed in the morning and freaking run!! It really is the only time that I have and I know that my body will thank me one day for doing it. So, lofty goal is set (again) for me to get up at 5am tomorrow morning and get 3 miles in. Wish me luck!
As far as the "diet" goes, I have meal planned for the week again. Barring any illness I should be able to consume nothing, but healthy homemade meals from this minute forward. We won't talk about breakfast today or dinner last night, haha. Lets just say that I had the points though. ;)
I had intended to do a 2-day cleanse that consists of breakfast shakes, lean protein, and veggies, but . . . well let's be honest, I just didn't want to do it anymore, haha. It was only 2 days and I still couldn't get it to stick, but I really blame the fact that I just love food too much. I didn't stray too far though. And I didn't go overboard or off points. I just indulged in my cravings. Besides the cleanse had me below my target points by 11. I keep meaning to do my measurements, but I don't want to do it in the middle of a week so hopefully I will find the time to get it done Friday before the day gets away from me.
For those of you who still read this, I leave you with the following:
What are stumbling blocks and defeat before you, can be stepping stones to victory if you remain determined.
March 24, 2013
March 15, 2013
Back in the Saddle . . .
Ok, so the blog title isn't original or alliterative, BUT it is a title which means . . . I'mmmmmmmm baaaaaack!! :D
I do believe that the last post I made was 3 months BEFORE my wedding. Now I am married (2 years in 2 months) and have the most ADORABLE little baby girl.
I mean seriously! Look at that face!! Try and tell me that isn't adorable. You can't because she totally is.
So I was doing pretty good at the whole weight loss thing. For those of you still hanging onto the edge of your seats . . . I DID fit into the wedding dress perfectly with no alterations needed. Thank you weight watchers! Then Chris and I went on our Honeymoon to a Sandal's Resort in Jamaica, all inclusive, and I am pretty sure that was the catalyst to the downfall of my dieting.
We had decided that we would go back to eating healthy when we got back, but remember when I was first blogging and I admitted that I was an emotional eater? Well enter emotion, and A LOT of it. When we returned from our honeymoon there was a lot of insane stuff that happened in a short amount of time and suddenly I was 195lbs out of nowhere. I wasn't happy with the way I looked, but really I wasn't happy with the way that I felt. Chris and I decided to take up running and we both signed up for a half marathon to be ran in September of 2012.
At the time it was Dec 2011 so plenty of time to train for a half marathon. Well of course life had other plans and on February 13, 2012 we found out we were expecting our little, totally unplanned, bundle of joy. At that time I had actually lost 15lbs, but I still wasn't anywhere near the goal I had wanted to be when I got pregnant.
I made the decision then to not "eat for two," but ultimately I ended up topping the scales at 212. A lot of that turned out to be water weight, but I didn't figure that out until I was home from the hospital, 1 week postpartum, and I hoped on the scale to find I was 186. No joke. I had lost 26 pounds in 1 week between my 7lb baby and all the stupid water my body was holding onto. It was a great high and I even managed to get myself down to 175 at one point, but the next FIVE months I bounced back and forth between 175 and 185. It wasn't great.
I had tried using those silly free apps that are just like weight watchers, but 100% free, but there is something about paying monthly for a service that makes me more accountable and I am happy to say that I am back on the Weight Watchers and have successfully lost 5lbs my first week. Before you congratulate me too much, I must confess that I feel that some of that is also water weight brought on by PMS. I expect to lose about 2lbs a week. This time I am meal planning, trying to eat different foods everyday instead of finding a set of food that is 27-28 pts and eating those exact meals EVERY DAY. Chris is on board and is doing weight watchers by proxy. I cook the food, he eats it, therefore he is also eating healthy. So far he has liked everything that I have made, even the omelet that had zucchini in it. Hopefully next week will be just as good, if not better, because I have a 5K in 3 weeks that I am expected to participate in. I have GOT to get my little (figuratively) booty moving!!
See you in a week!
I do believe that the last post I made was 3 months BEFORE my wedding. Now I am married (2 years in 2 months) and have the most ADORABLE little baby girl.
I mean seriously! Look at that face!! Try and tell me that isn't adorable. You can't because she totally is.
So I was doing pretty good at the whole weight loss thing. For those of you still hanging onto the edge of your seats . . . I DID fit into the wedding dress perfectly with no alterations needed. Thank you weight watchers! Then Chris and I went on our Honeymoon to a Sandal's Resort in Jamaica, all inclusive, and I am pretty sure that was the catalyst to the downfall of my dieting.
We had decided that we would go back to eating healthy when we got back, but remember when I was first blogging and I admitted that I was an emotional eater? Well enter emotion, and A LOT of it. When we returned from our honeymoon there was a lot of insane stuff that happened in a short amount of time and suddenly I was 195lbs out of nowhere. I wasn't happy with the way I looked, but really I wasn't happy with the way that I felt. Chris and I decided to take up running and we both signed up for a half marathon to be ran in September of 2012.
At the time it was Dec 2011 so plenty of time to train for a half marathon. Well of course life had other plans and on February 13, 2012 we found out we were expecting our little, totally unplanned, bundle of joy. At that time I had actually lost 15lbs, but I still wasn't anywhere near the goal I had wanted to be when I got pregnant.
I made the decision then to not "eat for two," but ultimately I ended up topping the scales at 212. A lot of that turned out to be water weight, but I didn't figure that out until I was home from the hospital, 1 week postpartum, and I hoped on the scale to find I was 186. No joke. I had lost 26 pounds in 1 week between my 7lb baby and all the stupid water my body was holding onto. It was a great high and I even managed to get myself down to 175 at one point, but the next FIVE months I bounced back and forth between 175 and 185. It wasn't great.
I had tried using those silly free apps that are just like weight watchers, but 100% free, but there is something about paying monthly for a service that makes me more accountable and I am happy to say that I am back on the Weight Watchers and have successfully lost 5lbs my first week. Before you congratulate me too much, I must confess that I feel that some of that is also water weight brought on by PMS. I expect to lose about 2lbs a week. This time I am meal planning, trying to eat different foods everyday instead of finding a set of food that is 27-28 pts and eating those exact meals EVERY DAY. Chris is on board and is doing weight watchers by proxy. I cook the food, he eats it, therefore he is also eating healthy. So far he has liked everything that I have made, even the omelet that had zucchini in it. Hopefully next week will be just as good, if not better, because I have a 5K in 3 weeks that I am expected to participate in. I have GOT to get my little (figuratively) booty moving!!
See you in a week!
February 15, 2011
Frustration and Fanfare
Last week was been a roller coaster of emotions and I am glad to have it all behind me. I realize that this blog is meant to be about the process of weight loss, but weeks like this remind me that external variables are also the process of weight loss. Like stress and emotional turmoil.
I am have already admitted earlier in this blog that I like to eat my feelings. Any feeling. Even boredom sends me heading for a snack. The medication that I am on really helps curb these cravings, but sometimes things happen that are bigger than anti-depressants.
As I do not often talk about things other than what I have eaten I am not entirely sure how many of my readers know I am getting married. I could go back to the first entry of this blog and check to see if I mentioned it, but I am pretty lazy and will not spare those of you who are already aware of this. Nevertheless my wedding is in 3 months and 1 week. There has been a little hubba-balloo going on with regards to said wedding that has me desperately wanting junk food.
Well I was down 4.4 lbs in my first weigh-in (Stacy lost 8lbs, but she is a cheater because she is breast feeding) and I did not want to ruin my progress so early in the game, but the turmoil I was carrying around kept chanting in my head, "Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger!" I even had a dream about being surrounded by cheeseburger's. Now I'm doing Weight Watchers which means that if I want a cheeseburger, I can have one. The only caveat to this is that I have to be willing to burn the points on it. This is where things get tricky . . . I treat my daily points like currency. "I do not want to spend that much on "insert food here." "Oh! That is WAY too much to spend on "insert another food here." So the thought of burning 24 pts on In N' Out just to make me feel better seemed ridiculous.
For one thing . . . Is it really going to make me feel better? NO!! In fact, wasting 24 pts on ONE meal when I only get 29 for the WHOLE DAY seems like diet suicide. Never mind that I CAN have it if I want to use the points. But the craving is not going to just disappear. I can pretend my salad is a burger all I want and it will do NOTHING to curb it, BUT the man that I am to marry is a genius.
I recently turned him onto the Atkins Diet. I had tried once before to get him into Weight Watchers, but it just was not his bag. Now he is on Atkins and he is doing famously. Already down 10lbs and I think it has only been 3 weeks. He LOVES his new "Meat & Cheese" diet. Cutting out carbs is really easy for him. Me . . . not so much, but when he mentioned the In N' Out protein style burger, I was intrigued. I love bread, but when I can have a cheeseburger for 9 points instead of 13 . . . I listen. Plus it was DELICIOUS!! I did not even miss the bun!! And I even only had half the fries for 5 points instead of 11 and I was FULL!!!
Crisis averted. I was able to enjoy my fattening meal, curb my craving, feed my soul a little in the process, AND still stay OP (which is Weight Watcher's for "On Point"). I was pretty proud of myself. I ended up dipping into 8 of my weekly points, but that is what they are there for.
I was proud again when my soon to be hubby took me to impromptu Valentine's Day Sushi. I got A LOT of the nigiri sushi, which for the untrained sushi goer is just the rice and meat. Usually sushi can be a healthy option, but when you begin to get into the bigger rolls, you start to add mayo and other delicious, but high point fixins. At first I gave in and ordered a specialty roll, but just a half, but later opted out of that for just a simple half spicy tuna roll. A healthier decision and SOOOO yummy!! After all was said and ate, I was only over 5 points for the day. Not too shabby!
Today, however, is day three of week 2 and I am back on target, although I did waste 2 points on a chocolate covered macadamia nut. I went back and forth over whether to eat it or not. I have a whole box here next to me that I have been attempting to pawn off on folks because I cannot eat them all myself and I the thought ran through me head, since I am technically alone in the office, that no one will know if I eat one or the whole box. This is old Kristal thinking. The girl that snuck food and acted SHOCKED when she did not lose weight on a weigh-in day and turned around and snuck more food to get over the guilt of the deceit.
So since I am on the buddy system, I texted Stacy. She reassured me that "1 will not kill you." It is 2 points, but that "I would not waste 6 points on it though." That is how many points for 4 pieces. She is right. I can have SOOOOO much food for 6 points. Food that will actually do something for me. I do not need it. Plus . . . It was not all that great. Kinda too rich for me. Luckily I'll be hitting the gym tonight. We do not think I will have too much trouble working that bad boy off, haha.
All in all . . . not a bad second week thus far.
I am have already admitted earlier in this blog that I like to eat my feelings. Any feeling. Even boredom sends me heading for a snack. The medication that I am on really helps curb these cravings, but sometimes things happen that are bigger than anti-depressants.
As I do not often talk about things other than what I have eaten I am not entirely sure how many of my readers know I am getting married. I could go back to the first entry of this blog and check to see if I mentioned it, but I am pretty lazy and will not spare those of you who are already aware of this. Nevertheless my wedding is in 3 months and 1 week. There has been a little hubba-balloo going on with regards to said wedding that has me desperately wanting junk food.
Well I was down 4.4 lbs in my first weigh-in (Stacy lost 8lbs, but she is a cheater because she is breast feeding) and I did not want to ruin my progress so early in the game, but the turmoil I was carrying around kept chanting in my head, "Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger!" I even had a dream about being surrounded by cheeseburger's. Now I'm doing Weight Watchers which means that if I want a cheeseburger, I can have one. The only caveat to this is that I have to be willing to burn the points on it. This is where things get tricky . . . I treat my daily points like currency. "I do not want to spend that much on "insert food here." "Oh! That is WAY too much to spend on "insert another food here." So the thought of burning 24 pts on In N' Out just to make me feel better seemed ridiculous.
For one thing . . . Is it really going to make me feel better? NO!! In fact, wasting 24 pts on ONE meal when I only get 29 for the WHOLE DAY seems like diet suicide. Never mind that I CAN have it if I want to use the points. But the craving is not going to just disappear. I can pretend my salad is a burger all I want and it will do NOTHING to curb it, BUT the man that I am to marry is a genius.
I recently turned him onto the Atkins Diet. I had tried once before to get him into Weight Watchers, but it just was not his bag. Now he is on Atkins and he is doing famously. Already down 10lbs and I think it has only been 3 weeks. He LOVES his new "Meat & Cheese" diet. Cutting out carbs is really easy for him. Me . . . not so much, but when he mentioned the In N' Out protein style burger, I was intrigued. I love bread, but when I can have a cheeseburger for 9 points instead of 13 . . . I listen. Plus it was DELICIOUS!! I did not even miss the bun!! And I even only had half the fries for 5 points instead of 11 and I was FULL!!!
Crisis averted. I was able to enjoy my fattening meal, curb my craving, feed my soul a little in the process, AND still stay OP (which is Weight Watcher's for "On Point"). I was pretty proud of myself. I ended up dipping into 8 of my weekly points, but that is what they are there for.
I was proud again when my soon to be hubby took me to impromptu Valentine's Day Sushi. I got A LOT of the nigiri sushi, which for the untrained sushi goer is just the rice and meat. Usually sushi can be a healthy option, but when you begin to get into the bigger rolls, you start to add mayo and other delicious, but high point fixins. At first I gave in and ordered a specialty roll, but just a half, but later opted out of that for just a simple half spicy tuna roll. A healthier decision and SOOOO yummy!! After all was said and ate, I was only over 5 points for the day. Not too shabby!
Today, however, is day three of week 2 and I am back on target, although I did waste 2 points on a chocolate covered macadamia nut. I went back and forth over whether to eat it or not. I have a whole box here next to me that I have been attempting to pawn off on folks because I cannot eat them all myself and I the thought ran through me head, since I am technically alone in the office, that no one will know if I eat one or the whole box. This is old Kristal thinking. The girl that snuck food and acted SHOCKED when she did not lose weight on a weigh-in day and turned around and snuck more food to get over the guilt of the deceit.
So since I am on the buddy system, I texted Stacy. She reassured me that "1 will not kill you." It is 2 points, but that "I would not waste 6 points on it though." That is how many points for 4 pieces. She is right. I can have SOOOOO much food for 6 points. Food that will actually do something for me. I do not need it. Plus . . . It was not all that great. Kinda too rich for me. Luckily I'll be hitting the gym tonight. We do not think I will have too much trouble working that bad boy off, haha.
All in all . . . not a bad second week thus far.
February 8, 2011
Weight Watchers Week Won!!
See what I did there? It is my first week back on Weight Watchers (WW) and I am feeling far more optimistic than I ever have before. Even more optimistic than the first time I started WW and I lost about 30 pounds on that optimism. I know that since I have started this blog, I believe that I have been on at least three different diets. I'm pretty sure that there was at least one attempt this year and they all came to the same fate . . . I quit. So many of you who read my blog, if you are even still there, may be thinking, "OK lady . . . We've heard this all before. Why should we believe you THIS time?"
While I would like to say that I can answer this with one word, and truly I can,the one word is likely to be followed with a lot of exposition, and when I say "likely" I mean definitely, so is it really ONE word? Well for those of my readers who know me in person, they know that I could never just say ONE word on any subject. Ever! Instead, I will answer this by starting out with one word and then explaining how that one word should lead you to follow me, yet again, on my weight loss adventure: Medication.
That's right faithful followers, I am on medication and I have to admit, it ain't half bad. That is right, I used ain't. That is how much the medication is working!! I use awful contractions as part of everyday vernacular and I expect that you will not treat me as a hillbilly because I am no longer crazy. For those same people who know me, you may shocked to find out that behind closed doors I was a scared, neurotic, mean girl, but I was. You can ask my fiance Chris if you do not or cannot believe it, but it was true.
There were several time this past year, and I mean "year" and in an actual 365 days way, not January to January, that I convinced myself that I was ready to lose the weight. You all were there for that. Going to the gym nearly everyday, eating well, staying motivated, and BAM! I would stop. I would not just have a cheat day, oh no, that was too simple. My cheat days turned to weeks and weeks into months. And for what? I was ready to lose was I not?
Well, truthfully, no. I was not. But why? That was the question that haunted me. I kept thinking to myself that I was ready!! I was not happy with the way I looked at all. Naked or clothed, it pained me to think of my body, but I could not stop myself from grabbing In N Out or Del Taco. Eating Pizza or drinking copious amounts of alcohol at a party (sorry mom). All empty calories. All went straight to my ass, thighs, and stomach. And for some reason I could not bring myself to get it under control. Even the numerous times I was SURE I was ready to give my all to diet and exercise, I still found a way to sabotage myself and I did not know why that was. Not even the numerous encounters with folks who inquired about the upcoming birth of what surely should be a child inside my belly could shame me into the motivation that I truly needed to succeed in weight loss.
Apparently this is all related to depression. When one is depressed and unaware that they are depressed, there are other aspects of the mind that one is aware of. I also learned from my wonderful doctor that self-sabotage is common practice among those with depression and it is so ingrained in our psyche that we do not even realize it. So in short, haha, even though I thought I wanted to lose weight, even though I thought that I was emotionally ready, I was not. Curtain open on . . . MEDICATION!!
One cannot truly appreciate the calming affects of medication unless one has been crazy. I was not just crazy, I was CARAZAY!! Yeah, I am not just hillbilly, I am a lil' ghetto too. I could flip at the drop of a hat. I would burst into tears if my hair was too tangled after a shower. I was flat out of control and although I thought I wanted to change all the things about myself that I felt were contributing to the cause, I could not. My brain was not ready, but now after nearly 3 months on the "juice," me and my doctor believe that I am ready and I am quite excited already.
This time I also have reinforcements. I had reinforcements in the past, but none of them live with me, none of them could truly give you "the look" when you admit the cheeseburger mega meal that you ate that day. Chris is no good for this. He loves me. He is gonna marry me and for whatever reason, because I truly do not understand it, he loves me irregardless of any weight I have. I liken this phenomenom to beer-goggles. He has anti-fat love goggles. He either just does not see it or does not care enough about it to care about it. Either way he is unreliable, but your friends . . . they will not lie to you.
So when Stacy, who is both a great friend and roommate, said "This is the week we start," despite the two weeks prior filled with failed attempts to start, I was excited. We went grocery shopping and bought A LOT of healthy food. A LOT!!! We are set on healthy food like the end of the world is coming. Armeggedon? Enh. We have soup.
I am also happy to say that I have been to the gym four days in a row!! I know! I am shocked too. I have to put up with evening gym goers which consist of girls who spend more time putting on their make-up in the locker room than on the actual machines, the guys who spend MORE than the allotted 20 min per machine even though there is clearly a line of folks waiting to get one, and the annoying goofy guy who puffs out his chest and winks at all the ladies, who could ALMOST be kinda of sexy if he was not also rocking a fanny pack.
All that aside I'm excited. Here is my starting measurments and weight as of Sunday Feb 6th, 2011:
Weight: 179.4
Waist: 39.75 inches
Hips: 45 inches
Bust: 41.5 inches
Arms: 12.25 inches
Thighs: 23 inches
Wish me and Stacy luck!!!
While I would like to say that I can answer this with one word, and truly I can,the one word is likely to be followed with a lot of exposition, and when I say "likely" I mean definitely, so is it really ONE word? Well for those of my readers who know me in person, they know that I could never just say ONE word on any subject. Ever! Instead, I will answer this by starting out with one word and then explaining how that one word should lead you to follow me, yet again, on my weight loss adventure: Medication.
That's right faithful followers, I am on medication and I have to admit, it ain't half bad. That is right, I used ain't. That is how much the medication is working!! I use awful contractions as part of everyday vernacular and I expect that you will not treat me as a hillbilly because I am no longer crazy. For those same people who know me, you may shocked to find out that behind closed doors I was a scared, neurotic, mean girl, but I was. You can ask my fiance Chris if you do not or cannot believe it, but it was true.
There were several time this past year, and I mean "year" and in an actual 365 days way, not January to January, that I convinced myself that I was ready to lose the weight. You all were there for that. Going to the gym nearly everyday, eating well, staying motivated, and BAM! I would stop. I would not just have a cheat day, oh no, that was too simple. My cheat days turned to weeks and weeks into months. And for what? I was ready to lose was I not?
Well, truthfully, no. I was not. But why? That was the question that haunted me. I kept thinking to myself that I was ready!! I was not happy with the way I looked at all. Naked or clothed, it pained me to think of my body, but I could not stop myself from grabbing In N Out or Del Taco. Eating Pizza or drinking copious amounts of alcohol at a party (sorry mom). All empty calories. All went straight to my ass, thighs, and stomach. And for some reason I could not bring myself to get it under control. Even the numerous times I was SURE I was ready to give my all to diet and exercise, I still found a way to sabotage myself and I did not know why that was. Not even the numerous encounters with folks who inquired about the upcoming birth of what surely should be a child inside my belly could shame me into the motivation that I truly needed to succeed in weight loss.
Apparently this is all related to depression. When one is depressed and unaware that they are depressed, there are other aspects of the mind that one is aware of. I also learned from my wonderful doctor that self-sabotage is common practice among those with depression and it is so ingrained in our psyche that we do not even realize it. So in short, haha, even though I thought I wanted to lose weight, even though I thought that I was emotionally ready, I was not. Curtain open on . . . MEDICATION!!
One cannot truly appreciate the calming affects of medication unless one has been crazy. I was not just crazy, I was CARAZAY!! Yeah, I am not just hillbilly, I am a lil' ghetto too. I could flip at the drop of a hat. I would burst into tears if my hair was too tangled after a shower. I was flat out of control and although I thought I wanted to change all the things about myself that I felt were contributing to the cause, I could not. My brain was not ready, but now after nearly 3 months on the "juice," me and my doctor believe that I am ready and I am quite excited already.
This time I also have reinforcements. I had reinforcements in the past, but none of them live with me, none of them could truly give you "the look" when you admit the cheeseburger mega meal that you ate that day. Chris is no good for this. He loves me. He is gonna marry me and for whatever reason, because I truly do not understand it, he loves me irregardless of any weight I have. I liken this phenomenom to beer-goggles. He has anti-fat love goggles. He either just does not see it or does not care enough about it to care about it. Either way he is unreliable, but your friends . . . they will not lie to you.
So when Stacy, who is both a great friend and roommate, said "This is the week we start," despite the two weeks prior filled with failed attempts to start, I was excited. We went grocery shopping and bought A LOT of healthy food. A LOT!!! We are set on healthy food like the end of the world is coming. Armeggedon? Enh. We have soup.
I am also happy to say that I have been to the gym four days in a row!! I know! I am shocked too. I have to put up with evening gym goers which consist of girls who spend more time putting on their make-up in the locker room than on the actual machines, the guys who spend MORE than the allotted 20 min per machine even though there is clearly a line of folks waiting to get one, and the annoying goofy guy who puffs out his chest and winks at all the ladies, who could ALMOST be kinda of sexy if he was not also rocking a fanny pack.
All that aside I'm excited. Here is my starting measurments and weight as of Sunday Feb 6th, 2011:
Weight: 179.4
Waist: 39.75 inches
Hips: 45 inches
Bust: 41.5 inches
Arms: 12.25 inches
Thighs: 23 inches
Wish me and Stacy luck!!!
November 9, 2010
Eating and Exercising
So I've already broken two promises that I made to myself. I promised myself that I would not have a cheat day until Thanksgiving and the I would not weigh myself until the Monday of that cheat day. Not only did I cheat ALL weekend but also I got on the scale this Monday too. Well luckily for me, that "cheat day" that I had, even though I did not intend on having it, did not take the toll that I thought that it had. The scale told me I was down 4.6 lbs.
I know!! I'm shocked too!! When I looked down on the scale I thought, "REALLY!?? I ate almost nothing, but El Pollo Loco ALL weekend and I lose?" Well I have never been the kind of person to look a gift horse in the mouth so I will not start now. Thank you gods of fat for blessing me with a nearly 5 lb loss this on the week where I did little to no exercise.
Ok, so I would not say that is entirely true. I started parking further out in the parking lot so that I have to walk further to get inside, instead of lumbering up the stairs to my bedroom I have been kicking it up a little, AND the elliptical is now centrally located in the garage. I have not used it yet, but at least it is there. I may even use it tonight. Take a little 30 minute vacation from my life. Besides, I heard that exercising relieves stress and here with only two weeks of school left . . . I need a little stress relief.
In fact, now that I think about . . . what idiot convinced me that STARTING a diet during the last two weeks of school, at the start of the most food oriented holiday season, was a good idea? Oh yeah, that's right. The same idiot who thought that In 'N Out every Tuesday and Thursday for three weeks was a good idea. At least this time that idiot has some good sense.
I know!! I'm shocked too!! When I looked down on the scale I thought, "REALLY!?? I ate almost nothing, but El Pollo Loco ALL weekend and I lose?" Well I have never been the kind of person to look a gift horse in the mouth so I will not start now. Thank you gods of fat for blessing me with a nearly 5 lb loss this on the week where I did little to no exercise.
Ok, so I would not say that is entirely true. I started parking further out in the parking lot so that I have to walk further to get inside, instead of lumbering up the stairs to my bedroom I have been kicking it up a little, AND the elliptical is now centrally located in the garage. I have not used it yet, but at least it is there. I may even use it tonight. Take a little 30 minute vacation from my life. Besides, I heard that exercising relieves stress and here with only two weeks of school left . . . I need a little stress relief.
In fact, now that I think about . . . what idiot convinced me that STARTING a diet during the last two weeks of school, at the start of the most food oriented holiday season, was a good idea? Oh yeah, that's right. The same idiot who thought that In 'N Out every Tuesday and Thursday for three weeks was a good idea. At least this time that idiot has some good sense.
November 3, 2010
Tussling with Temptation
Today was day three of the Special K challenge. I am beginning to think that there is a reason that diets are all called challenges. The "Special K Easy" just is not true. It is a challenge and today was no exception. It was one of those days where a cheeseburger and vanilla shake seem to be the only thing that can cure what ails one.
I've been drinking a TON of water and therefore hitting the head a lot more than usual and I think that I need to start using the bathroom in another building. Not only will I NOT have to walk by the damn vending machine four and five times a day, but I'll actually get a little more milage in during my day. The main problem is that on days like today, the really stressful days, those vending machine items look pretty tasty. Especially since they suddenly have sea salt and vinegar lays in the machine. I wanted them so badly that I could almost taste them. Luckily it was too busy for me to even eat the fruit and Special K snacks that I brought.
So I am choking back my INCREDIBLE craving for In N' Out. Cause let's not pretend that I do not suddenly feel like I have not had a a burger in years!! But I have made a promise to myself that I will not break this easy. I had a personal goal that my first cheat day will be Thanksgiving, after all who wants to eat Special K products alone on Thanksgiving? Certainly not I, it would be downright sacrilegious. Hopefully I will be able to meet this goal.
I have also promised myself that I will not weigh myself until the monday of that week. I think that the fluctuations caused by various things will only discourage me. Rather than ruin all the hard work that I have and will do, I think it is for the best. Not seeing a number that might disturb me, is certain to keep me away from burgers and twix bars, if that is even possible to be dissuaded from such deliciousness.
November 2, 2010
Antics and Anniversaries
Maybe it is the (very strong) gin and tonic I drank at dinner tonight or my general lack of spelling skills, but "anniversaries" looks silly to me. For whatever reason, I wish I could say why, but "anniversary's" just looks nicer. Probably the gin talking really.
So all that aside, today is my and my fiancé's third year anniversary. We've also officially been engaged for a year today as well. A busy, busy day. Three years ago today we were eating dinner at the Palmdale Applebee's when Chris practically begged me to be his girlfriend. It was really quite adorable. Ok, so there was not any begging involved, but there was a lot of shock on my part. I had not really been expecting what we had to develop into a relationship. I had been attempting to resist the idea of a relationship, but damn his charm!! It did not work and we were boyfriend and girlfriend . . . literally. We do not really call each other by our given names, unless he's in trouble or he's breaking up with me. ;)
At any rate last year he asked me to be his wife and I accepted. We were at the happiest place on earth's neighbor (California Adventure) on my favorite ride EVER, Soarin' over California. It was pretty awesome to say the least.
Now we are planning the wedding. Right now it is mostly finalizing things as the wedding is in little over 5 months (which totally does not freak me out). It has been an exciting year and people did not lie when they say that the time would FLY by. I almost feel like I do not have any time left, but when I stop (to breath) I can recognize all the work that is already done and it makes me feel much better. I know that the next few months are going to fly by and be even more of a blur, it is the holiday season after all, and soon enough I will be wondering if I can make it down the aisle without passing out or crying.
For now I am going to go enjoy the rest of the night with my baby and the new Ipod touch I got for our anniversary. Yay me!!!
November 1, 2010
Troubles and Triumphs
Hello all!! I am back!! There is something quite refreshing about the first of a new month. Especially one with such a crisp bite in the air. Autumn has always been my most favorite time of the year. There is something cathartic about nature shedding itself only to be born again in the spring. I have often wondered what could inspire me to get off of my laurels and I never expected it would be me. I have just resolved that this month won't be like the others. I am tired of waiting around whining about how unhappy I am that I have gained weight, but all the while doing nothing about it.
I think I may have written about this in another blog, but I used to watch Dr. Phil ALL THE TIME!! I could not get enough of that happy bald man and his little "isms." I even once bought the self matters books, but I never even cracked them open and I could not begin to tell you where they went. In all the hours I spent watching Dr. Phil fixing other people and wishing it was me, there was one thing that he said many times that I never could quite shake from my head: "Fake it til you make it."
The first time I heard it I thought it sounded absurd. But after time the phrase began to take on a new meaning to me. The whole time I was dating my ex, I was never really myself. I was "faking it," hoping that I would make it. I used it recently with a friend and he thought it absurd too. He says, "If I hide myself wherever I go, am I ever really there?" This idea hit me like a ton of bricks. I know that this isn't entirely the idea that Dr. Phil means by this and despite my friend's astute observation of this phrase I still have decided to "fake it" . . . a little.
I am no longer going to pretend that I am happy when I am not or swallow feelings to avoid confrontation. I am a grown woman and I deserve to have my feelings heard, validated even. I am going to be present in my life, even if that means having conversations that are hard to have. So be it. They almost always HAVE to be had, but people spend so much time walking on egg shells for other people, but not me anymore.
Where am I going to "fake it" then? In my diet and exercise. I am going to "fake it" that I LOVE dieting and exercise. I was very nearly close to loving it when I was going last time, but last time there was too much stress involved for me. So this time I am alleviating the stress of working out. I am starting sllllloooowwwwwllly. This coming weekend we are bringing the elliptical to the new house. Rather than hoofing out to the gym at God's hour, I will hoof it downstairs to the garage and enjoy a private workout. I know eventually that I will want to hoof it to the gym as I do really want to go again, I just don't have the energy for all that yet. I need to build up the tolerance I had.
I have also started on the path to healthy eating again. It has been 5 days since my last fast food encounter and I intend to make that even longer. I have accepted the Special K challenge, but I will also be combining it with Weight Watchers. The rules for the Special K challenge are as follows:
Breakfast - Special K cereal with 2/3 cup skim milk and fruit.
Lunch - A Special K protein shake or bar and fruit
Dinner - Eat third meal as you normally do.
Snacks - Enjoy as many fruits and veggies as you like and indulge in two Special K snacks per day.
Sounds pretty self explanatory, but where the weight watchers comes into play is with the third meal. It is not going to do me any good to have In N' Out as my third meal so I should still be choosing a meal that keeps me within my points value for the day as well as something that I would "normally" eat. Let's not pretend I couldn't rationalize to myself exactly why I COULD eat In N' Out as my third meal, after all "I did sooooo good eating all the Special K food throughout the day."
So here I go on day 1 (again). Hopefully this time I have the chops to make it all the way through. Although (dirty-little-secret-time), I HAVE to make it work this time. I've gained some weight in the last couple of months and right now I don't fit in my wedding dress. It makes me feel like I've let down myself and my mom by allowing this to happen, but I have the power to fix it and this time I will.
I think I may have written about this in another blog, but I used to watch Dr. Phil ALL THE TIME!! I could not get enough of that happy bald man and his little "isms." I even once bought the self matters books, but I never even cracked them open and I could not begin to tell you where they went. In all the hours I spent watching Dr. Phil fixing other people and wishing it was me, there was one thing that he said many times that I never could quite shake from my head: "Fake it til you make it."
The first time I heard it I thought it sounded absurd. But after time the phrase began to take on a new meaning to me. The whole time I was dating my ex, I was never really myself. I was "faking it," hoping that I would make it. I used it recently with a friend and he thought it absurd too. He says, "If I hide myself wherever I go, am I ever really there?" This idea hit me like a ton of bricks. I know that this isn't entirely the idea that Dr. Phil means by this and despite my friend's astute observation of this phrase I still have decided to "fake it" . . . a little.
I am no longer going to pretend that I am happy when I am not or swallow feelings to avoid confrontation. I am a grown woman and I deserve to have my feelings heard, validated even. I am going to be present in my life, even if that means having conversations that are hard to have. So be it. They almost always HAVE to be had, but people spend so much time walking on egg shells for other people, but not me anymore.
Where am I going to "fake it" then? In my diet and exercise. I am going to "fake it" that I LOVE dieting and exercise. I was very nearly close to loving it when I was going last time, but last time there was too much stress involved for me. So this time I am alleviating the stress of working out. I am starting sllllloooowwwwwllly. This coming weekend we are bringing the elliptical to the new house. Rather than hoofing out to the gym at God's hour, I will hoof it downstairs to the garage and enjoy a private workout. I know eventually that I will want to hoof it to the gym as I do really want to go again, I just don't have the energy for all that yet. I need to build up the tolerance I had.
I have also started on the path to healthy eating again. It has been 5 days since my last fast food encounter and I intend to make that even longer. I have accepted the Special K challenge, but I will also be combining it with Weight Watchers. The rules for the Special K challenge are as follows:
Breakfast - Special K cereal with 2/3 cup skim milk and fruit.
Lunch - A Special K protein shake or bar and fruit
Dinner - Eat third meal as you normally do.
Snacks - Enjoy as many fruits and veggies as you like and indulge in two Special K snacks per day.
Sounds pretty self explanatory, but where the weight watchers comes into play is with the third meal. It is not going to do me any good to have In N' Out as my third meal so I should still be choosing a meal that keeps me within my points value for the day as well as something that I would "normally" eat. Let's not pretend I couldn't rationalize to myself exactly why I COULD eat In N' Out as my third meal, after all "I did sooooo good eating all the Special K food throughout the day."
So here I go on day 1 (again). Hopefully this time I have the chops to make it all the way through. Although (dirty-little-secret-time), I HAVE to make it work this time. I've gained some weight in the last couple of months and right now I don't fit in my wedding dress. It makes me feel like I've let down myself and my mom by allowing this to happen, but I have the power to fix it and this time I will.
August 5, 2010
Weight Watchers
So here is the thing about Weight Watchers . . . It has NEVER let me down. I have been on the plan more times than I came remember. In fact, the program has changed three times since the first time I was a member so that has to tell you something. I have always been able to follow the plan and reach my goal weight safely and healthily (if that is even a word). So knowing that you must be asking yourself the same question that I always ask myself: "If Weight Watchers is so good, why then are you (or am I when I ask it in my head) back up to 173.4?" Well my faithful followers, that is an easy question for me to answer. Weight Watchers IS fantastic, it's me that's the problem.
I like to think that my failure with the program comes from a coupling of my own arrogance and laziness. That's right folks!! My dirty little secret is out.
It isn't that I am not good at the program. I have gained and lost the weight of an average sized adult in all my endeavors with the program, it is the maintenance that is my problem. When I am on program I am dedicated to it. I will measure and weigh EVERYTHING!!! Nothing goes into my body without first being checked by the points calculator. This time around (since I am actually at the highest weight I have ever been) I get to eat 23 points a day. Yesterday I made a Turkey sandwich on Whole Wheat bread and it was 4 points and delicious, but the small bag of potato chips was 5 points and I just wasn't willing to eat 5 points in chips. Not when I could have had 2 plums, an orange, grapes, carrots, and an apple all for 5 points too.
Now don't get me wrong. I allow myself cheat days and free meals, but only after I have been on the plan successfully for a month. Then I will allow myself one meal, one day a week to "binge." But by then, it isn't even really binging because my appetite has shrank so I still have a smaller portion of the cheat meal than I would have if I wasn't on point. AND I always add it to the tracker even if it makes me go over for the week. Even then, I still show losses on the scale consistently week after week.
So where do I go wrong? Well I get down to the fabulous weight that I want to be and then I start the maintenance portion of the program and the arrogance kicks in. "I know what a cup looks like, I don't have to measure that." "I can tell how big 4 oz of meat is, I don't need to weight that." "Today is my cheat day, I can go to Del Taco AND Olive Garden today." "I don't feel good today, I am just going to skip the gym for TODAY only." "Its only 1 beer!" Then the next thing you know I have gained 50 pounds.
In my mind I know that Weight Watchers isn't meant to be a diet. A diet is a fad or a new years resolution. Weight Watchers is meant to help institute a lifestyle change and I am all for it when I am losing. I lose the motivation somewhere between reaching that goal and attempting to maintain it.
Hopefully this blog will help me stay accountable.
I like to think that my failure with the program comes from a coupling of my own arrogance and laziness. That's right folks!! My dirty little secret is out.
It isn't that I am not good at the program. I have gained and lost the weight of an average sized adult in all my endeavors with the program, it is the maintenance that is my problem. When I am on program I am dedicated to it. I will measure and weigh EVERYTHING!!! Nothing goes into my body without first being checked by the points calculator. This time around (since I am actually at the highest weight I have ever been) I get to eat 23 points a day. Yesterday I made a Turkey sandwich on Whole Wheat bread and it was 4 points and delicious, but the small bag of potato chips was 5 points and I just wasn't willing to eat 5 points in chips. Not when I could have had 2 plums, an orange, grapes, carrots, and an apple all for 5 points too.
Now don't get me wrong. I allow myself cheat days and free meals, but only after I have been on the plan successfully for a month. Then I will allow myself one meal, one day a week to "binge." But by then, it isn't even really binging because my appetite has shrank so I still have a smaller portion of the cheat meal than I would have if I wasn't on point. AND I always add it to the tracker even if it makes me go over for the week. Even then, I still show losses on the scale consistently week after week.
So where do I go wrong? Well I get down to the fabulous weight that I want to be and then I start the maintenance portion of the program and the arrogance kicks in. "I know what a cup looks like, I don't have to measure that." "I can tell how big 4 oz of meat is, I don't need to weight that." "Today is my cheat day, I can go to Del Taco AND Olive Garden today." "I don't feel good today, I am just going to skip the gym for TODAY only." "Its only 1 beer!" Then the next thing you know I have gained 50 pounds.
In my mind I know that Weight Watchers isn't meant to be a diet. A diet is a fad or a new years resolution. Weight Watchers is meant to help institute a lifestyle change and I am all for it when I am losing. I lose the motivation somewhere between reaching that goal and attempting to maintain it.
Hopefully this blog will help me stay accountable.
July 20, 2010
Rhapsodizing for Rosemary
For those of my followers who have been wondering what happened to me: No, I did not fall of the face of the earth. The earth is round and this isn't possible. Quite frankly I am disappointed in all of you for believing this to be possible in the first place, but this is the AV and the Flat Earth society does have a large following here so I shouldn't be surprised.
So since gravity and a round earth are still in full effect . . . where have I been? Well . . . I've been in limbo.
So the ten pounds that I lost earlier on in this blog are back and bastards that they are, they brought friends. I can't even begin to tell you how many friends because I refuse to step on the scale right now. I don't think it is good for me. I've been thinking more and more about what causes me to take these relapses before I've even really gotten started: Pressure!
Queen had it right way back in 81 when they said, "Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure." It is a killer. And while some people thrive and do their best work under it, I shut down.
I thought that the contest, which I easily lost, was going to be a great way to get into shape. I was going to be eating healthy with my friends and we were all going to get into shape and work out together and "blah blah blah." All I could think about was losing and letting them down. This just made me want to sneak more food. "If I go to In n Out today, they won't know." And really Eli and Katie wouldn't have known if I didn't tell them (until they saw me getting fatter and fatter). I just couldn't handle the pressure, the deadline, the whole challenge. The closer the date came, the less I wanted to count calories and the less I actually did.
Taco Bell's delicious Mexican Pizza and In N Out were too much for this shaky lady and at the end of the day (and the contest) they were the real winners.
Don't get me wrong, I by no means consider myself a loser in all this. It did manage to help me realize one thing . . . I don't want to feel like my weight loss is connected to the success or failure of someone else. I can't want to do it because Eli is ready and is going to go at it. I clearly wasn't ready. I can't want to do it because Katie joins the challenge, although it did renew my vigor for a spell. I have to want to do it because I want to do it. And I do want to do it, but that isn't going to be enough this time.
I am going to have to learn that people have cravings. It happens. AND I have to let myself have them. If I want an In N Out cheeseburger who says I shouldn't? If I was eating nothing, but burgers from In N Out for every meal every single day we could have a conversation, but one every now and then isn't going to kill me and I should get off my own back when I give in.
This brings me to the second thing I have to learn: forgiveness. I need to learn that one cheeseburger isn't going to ruin my long term goals for weight loss and healthy eating. Sure it may mess up a week (hence the refusal to get on a scale), but a potato with too much salt can do that too. And if I plan a way to curb the craving it may not be as bad as I think.
Finally, I need to not think in terms of weight. I don't really want to "lose" weight per se . . . I want the weight to look better on me. I know that somewhere in there I am going to be losing something, but that shouldn't be my focus. This "lose lose lose" mentality that I have every time I challenge myself adds pressure to my goals and then I mess up all over again. This time it is going to be about measurements and how I feel. That is the true testament to being healthy.
So no more 60 day weight loss challenges! No more unrealistic long term goals! No more pressure to achieve right away!! Now is the time to make things better slowly!!
My first goal on my new path to eating better and getting moving: Get on a solid sleep cycle within 2 weeks. This will help me have the energy I need to get back to the gym.
As for today I think that so far I have done pretty well. I had a healthy cereal with non-fat milk and an orange for breakfast and snack. Ribs, mashed potatoes, and pasta for lunch which was perfectly portioned out by my good friend/roomie Stacy (which upon first glance did not look like enough food, but totally was) and a fiber one bar. I have a peach and a small 2 oz bag of chips on deck for a snack in case I get hungry before I get off of work.
I can't tell you how many calories I have consumed or burned today because I can't begin to care right now. All I do know is that I made a healthier decision just by bringing smaller portions and fruit instead of processed snacks (save the chips, but they're at least kettle cooked chips). Ultimately the one thing that I forget the most is the one thing I should always attempt to remember, "Nothing tastes as good as being fit and healthy feels."
So since gravity and a round earth are still in full effect . . . where have I been? Well . . . I've been in limbo.
So the ten pounds that I lost earlier on in this blog are back and bastards that they are, they brought friends. I can't even begin to tell you how many friends because I refuse to step on the scale right now. I don't think it is good for me. I've been thinking more and more about what causes me to take these relapses before I've even really gotten started: Pressure!
Queen had it right way back in 81 when they said, "Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure." It is a killer. And while some people thrive and do their best work under it, I shut down.
I thought that the contest, which I easily lost, was going to be a great way to get into shape. I was going to be eating healthy with my friends and we were all going to get into shape and work out together and "blah blah blah." All I could think about was losing and letting them down. This just made me want to sneak more food. "If I go to In n Out today, they won't know." And really Eli and Katie wouldn't have known if I didn't tell them (until they saw me getting fatter and fatter). I just couldn't handle the pressure, the deadline, the whole challenge. The closer the date came, the less I wanted to count calories and the less I actually did.
Taco Bell's delicious Mexican Pizza and In N Out were too much for this shaky lady and at the end of the day (and the contest) they were the real winners.
Don't get me wrong, I by no means consider myself a loser in all this. It did manage to help me realize one thing . . . I don't want to feel like my weight loss is connected to the success or failure of someone else. I can't want to do it because Eli is ready and is going to go at it. I clearly wasn't ready. I can't want to do it because Katie joins the challenge, although it did renew my vigor for a spell. I have to want to do it because I want to do it. And I do want to do it, but that isn't going to be enough this time.
I am going to have to learn that people have cravings. It happens. AND I have to let myself have them. If I want an In N Out cheeseburger who says I shouldn't? If I was eating nothing, but burgers from In N Out for every meal every single day we could have a conversation, but one every now and then isn't going to kill me and I should get off my own back when I give in.
This brings me to the second thing I have to learn: forgiveness. I need to learn that one cheeseburger isn't going to ruin my long term goals for weight loss and healthy eating. Sure it may mess up a week (hence the refusal to get on a scale), but a potato with too much salt can do that too. And if I plan a way to curb the craving it may not be as bad as I think.
Finally, I need to not think in terms of weight. I don't really want to "lose" weight per se . . . I want the weight to look better on me. I know that somewhere in there I am going to be losing something, but that shouldn't be my focus. This "lose lose lose" mentality that I have every time I challenge myself adds pressure to my goals and then I mess up all over again. This time it is going to be about measurements and how I feel. That is the true testament to being healthy.
So no more 60 day weight loss challenges! No more unrealistic long term goals! No more pressure to achieve right away!! Now is the time to make things better slowly!!
My first goal on my new path to eating better and getting moving: Get on a solid sleep cycle within 2 weeks. This will help me have the energy I need to get back to the gym.
As for today I think that so far I have done pretty well. I had a healthy cereal with non-fat milk and an orange for breakfast and snack. Ribs, mashed potatoes, and pasta for lunch which was perfectly portioned out by my good friend/roomie Stacy (which upon first glance did not look like enough food, but totally was) and a fiber one bar. I have a peach and a small 2 oz bag of chips on deck for a snack in case I get hungry before I get off of work.
I can't tell you how many calories I have consumed or burned today because I can't begin to care right now. All I do know is that I made a healthier decision just by bringing smaller portions and fruit instead of processed snacks (save the chips, but they're at least kettle cooked chips). Ultimately the one thing that I forget the most is the one thing I should always attempt to remember, "Nothing tastes as good as being fit and healthy feels."
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