Frustration and Fanfare

Last week was been a roller coaster of emotions and I am glad to have it all behind me. I realize that this blog is meant to be about the process of weight loss, but weeks like this remind me that external variables are also the process of weight loss. Like stress and emotional turmoil.

I am have already admitted earlier in this blog that I like to eat my feelings. Any feeling. Even boredom sends me heading for a snack. The medication that I am on really helps curb these cravings, but sometimes things happen that are bigger than anti-depressants.

As I do not often talk about things other than what I have eaten I am not entirely sure how many of my readers know I am getting married. I could go back to the first entry of this blog and check to see if I mentioned it, but I am pretty lazy and will not spare those of you who are already aware of this. Nevertheless my wedding is in 3 months and 1 week. There has been a little hubba-balloo going on with regards to said wedding that has me desperately wanting junk food.

Well I was down 4.4 lbs in my first weigh-in (Stacy lost 8lbs, but she is a cheater because she is breast feeding) and I did not want to ruin my progress so early in the game, but the turmoil I was carrying around kept chanting in my head, "Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger!" I even had a dream about being surrounded by cheeseburger's. Now I'm doing Weight Watchers which means that if I want a cheeseburger, I can have one. The only caveat to this is that I have to be willing to burn the points on it. This is where things get tricky . . . I treat my daily points like currency. "I do not want to spend that much on "insert food here." "Oh! That is WAY too much to spend on "insert another food here." So the thought of burning 24 pts on In N' Out just to make me feel better seemed ridiculous.

For one thing . . . Is it really going to make me feel better? NO!! In fact, wasting 24 pts on ONE meal when I only get 29 for the WHOLE DAY seems like diet suicide. Never mind that I CAN have it if I want to use the points. But the craving is not going to just disappear. I can pretend my salad is a burger all I want and it will do NOTHING to curb it, BUT the man that I am to marry is a genius.

I recently turned him onto the Atkins Diet. I had tried once before to get him into Weight Watchers, but it just was not his bag. Now he is on Atkins and he is doing famously. Already down 10lbs and I think it has only been 3 weeks. He LOVES his new "Meat & Cheese" diet. Cutting out carbs is really easy for him. Me . . . not so much, but when he mentioned the In N' Out protein style burger, I was intrigued. I love bread, but when I can have a cheeseburger for 9 points instead of 13 . . . I listen. Plus it was DELICIOUS!! I did not even miss the bun!! And I even only had half the fries for 5 points instead of 11 and I was FULL!!!

Crisis averted. I was able to enjoy my fattening meal, curb my craving, feed my soul a little in the process, AND still stay OP (which is Weight Watcher's for "On Point"). I was pretty proud of myself. I ended up dipping into 8 of my weekly points, but that is what they are there for.

I was proud again when my soon to be hubby took me to impromptu Valentine's Day Sushi. I got A LOT of the nigiri sushi, which for the untrained sushi goer is just the rice and meat. Usually sushi can be a healthy option, but when you begin to get into the bigger rolls, you start to add mayo and other delicious, but high point fixins. At first I gave in and ordered a specialty roll, but just a half, but later opted out of that for just a simple half spicy tuna roll. A healthier decision and SOOOO yummy!! After all was said and ate, I was only over 5 points for the day. Not too shabby!

Today, however, is day three of week 2 and I am back on target, although I did waste 2 points on a chocolate covered macadamia nut. I went back and forth over whether to eat it or not. I have a whole box here next to me that I have been attempting to pawn off on folks because I cannot eat them all myself and I the thought ran through me head, since I am technically alone in the office, that no one will know if I eat one or the whole box. This is old Kristal thinking. The girl that snuck food and acted SHOCKED when she did not lose weight on a weigh-in day and turned around and snuck more food to get over the guilt of the deceit.

So since I am on the buddy system, I texted Stacy. She reassured me that "1 will not kill you." It is 2 points, but that "I would not waste 6 points on it though." That is how many points for 4 pieces. She is right. I can have SOOOOO much food for 6 points. Food that will actually do something for me. I do not need it. Plus . . . It was not all that great. Kinda too rich for me. Luckily I'll be hitting the gym tonight. We do not think I will have too much trouble working that bad boy off, haha.

All in all . . . not a bad second week thus far.